Hot dogs may lose to communism

I tell ya, there are too many studies being conducted today. One example of doctors and scientist have entirely too much time on their hands is a new policy statement from a pediatric group stating that the hot dog is a hazard for kids. You heard right, the all-american hot dog. Many regard the hot dog as a ballpark mainstay, a perfect partner to the hamburger or, for a hot-dog eating champ, a little snack. But of all snacks, the hot dog has proven most treacherous, causing about 17 percent of food-related asphyxiations. About 10,000 children younger than 14 are rushed to the hospital each year after choking on food, and up to 77 young people die is what the group states.

All of this may be prevented,according to these braniacs, with warning labels on packaging for hazardous foods, recalls on foods known to cause choking, and even the "redesign" of risky products like the hot dog. Some food packages that already feature warning labels could spread the trend, with voluntary help from the industry and the USDA, which has jurisdiction over meat products such as hot dogs. The Food and Drug Administration said it would review the group's statement recommendation for recalls.

That leaves a lingering question: How does one redesign the hot dog? One way to cut down on a frank's choking risk would be to eliminate its cylindrical, potentially windpipe-lodging shape. The group's policy statement suggests cutting foods that present a risk to children in a way that changes their spherical nature, such as quartering grapes and slicing hot dogs into lengthwise strips. Strips? Yeah, that'll be the new ballpark and grilling sensation.